Not Quite an Invite - Kissing Cooking

Ok this may not be specifically an invitation to a celeb, but we have to admit it's right in there. Tell us what you think about this email we received this week.

Dear WeAreAssholes,

This will probably be my one and only visit to your site, though I suspect my younger siblings will enjoy it. Anyway, I’m a cook at a restaurant that’s not in Hollywood proper, but just outside the city limits. Let’s put it this way, it’s close enough that celebs frequent our eclectic bistro fairly regularly. While I know it’s against all basic rules of good conduct (and probably health code violations too), you’re site seemed the right place to spell out one of my questionable activities.

If I know I’m cooking for a celeb at a particular table, and only those celebs that are of particular beauty, I will do something like the following:
If Jolie were to order a Mediterranean Wrap for example, I’d likely touch my lips, just briefly to the tortilla, with the thought that my lips will basically be touching hers in a matter of moments. The excitement that brings to me is incredible. While I can’t watch the patron from my position in the kitchen, just imagining the action is good enough for me. Maybe I should say right here that I’ve never taken a leak into someone’s soup (as Pitt did in Fight Club), nor anything else that would involve a bodily fluid. But lip-touching the various orders of the super-chic is exhilarating to me.

-The Kissing Cook