Asshole, you got so fucking lucky this week, you better send the biggest goddamn bouquet of flowers to Michael Jackson's funeral.
But then you BLEW it!
What I don't get is, instead of lying low and enjoying the media distraction, you give a fucking press conference and deliver a 3 hour cry-baby story about how much of a fucking pussy hound you really are.
Stupid.
Long story short in case you haven't been following this, Sanford the Republican, Christian Governor of South Carolina got caught in a lie to his wife and staff exposing an affair that was supposed to be over. His wife had found out about the affair back in January. She demanded that he end it so, he had arranged to meet with his mistress, Maria Bellen Chapur of Uruguay or something, in NYC to break it off. Along with him came his spiritual advisor, a member of the Family (You'll be reading more on them within our pages soon). Well unfortunately he didn't break it off, and rumor has it that the spiritual advisor advised he to continue the affair in a very Family-style move.
Since this New York booty call, Sanford has been with Chapur twice more in secret, with the last time being a "trip to hike in the mountains". When he came back all hot and sweaty from "hiking" his staff and family knew it was BULLSHIT and called him on it and like the BIG FUCKING DOUCHE BAG he is, he fessed up.
This shit hit the fan on Father's Day weekend and he knew he was in trouble.
Then Michael Jackson died and no one cared about Mark Sanford and his run-away penis.
But that wasn't good enough for him, so he had to give a press conference and tape a 3 hour interview where in he said, "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."
Fuckhead.
In an earlier statement he admitted that "there were a handful of instances wherein I crossed the lines I shouldn't have crossed as a married man, but never crossed the ultimate line."
Where the fuck was his spiritual advisor? Where the fuck where ANY of his advisors. What a dick.
Now Governor Romeo says that he is not leaving the Capital and that he has excelled at his job during his affair. Generally I would agree, the problem is that now that he has to fuck his ugly old lady his job performance is going suffer.
Just like ol' Bill.
The moral to this story is two-fold. Politicians are horny and need a good piece of ass to keep up their strength and when an evangelical runs for public office you know he's a poon-hound.
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