The King of Pop Is Dead

The King of Pop is gone.

For good this time.

He's been gone for awhile. With exception to the occasional nose sculpture or baby-dangling, where has he been?

He may as well have been gone (dead) for the last 20 years. What has he put out that was half-way decent since Thriller? Bad? I guess it wasn't bad, but it wasn't Thriller. That record seemed to have hits for 5 years after its release.

What would have been best is if he had gone the way of Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Kurt Cobain. You know, had a bunch of hits then kicked the bucket. Not live long enough to have shit albums or become a tabloid darling. I'm sure if those three hadn't kicked the bucket they would have just put out some mediocre crap and then faded into obscurity. Especially Cobain. Come on, In Utero was nowhere near as good as Nevermind.

Jacko did outlive Elvis though. Elvis died at age 42. I'm sure he had another comeback in him. Unlike the gloved one. All that was left in MJ was more TMZ & E! fodder. Elvis died on the shitter and we still fucking worship him.

But I digress.

Now we get a full week or two of everyone's opinion on TV of how much of a genius he was. From every moron on the street to every goddamn celebrity looking for a soundbyte.

Of course there'll be that "genius" Kanye spewing about how Jackson gave people like him a chance to be on MTV. Thanks Michael! Or we get to be reminded that Elizabeth Taylor still shuffles about. My generation only knows her as Michael's fag-hag, who's been divorced 27 times.

And how about these "fans" who will be crying in the streets? They'd be crying just as hard for Bernie Mac if he had died and you put a mic in their face.

What? Oh, nevermind.

Nothing will convince me that Michael is really dead. He was big on cryogenics and stuff. He'll show up as a cyborg in a couple years. Shit. He's halfway there. He was 40% plastic already. If he were to come back from the dead or this was one big hoax I will retract this article and start a church in his name. That would be the coolest thing.

So let the circus begin. Let's bring out all the Jackson family freaks and watch them wax poetic about their sibling until all media is saturated with it so that we don't notice the douchebags in North Korea or Iran. Joe Jackson will be crying about how his baby is gone. Meanwhile, behind that demon face of his, he's regretting not beating that one enough. Take a look, he's an evil mother-fucker. ILM couldn't make a scarier mask. How'd he outlive Michael? WTF?

In all seriousness, it is sad that he died. I grew up mezmerized when I saw him do the moonwalk the first time. I was glued to the TV when the video for Thriller premiered. I'm just not going to START missing the guy NOW. He's been long gone for awhile.

Tito, hand me a tissue.